Love Lost or Still a Chance
by SeungLee
Summary: Sometimes once must lose in order to regain what is lost. Athrun Zala must now like with his choice of rejoining ZAFT and losing his heart. Sets after episode 24 of GSDestinyAU


**Love Lost or Still a Chance?**

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Disclaimers: Don't own Gundam Seed Destiny, you know the drill. I do not own the song written into the story, it rightfully belongs to Lara Fabian.

Anyway, saw episode 24 and waiting for 25, but have read some spoilers and got some idea to write a one shot again. So I hope you enjoy this and don't get too mad at me at the end.

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Athrun sighed heavily; he still remembered their meeting a few months ago on that remote little spot. He did not expect things to turn out the way they did and he didn't expect to return to the same spot after his battle with Gaia that Cagalli would leave her ring that he gave her. But could he really blame her? After all he was with ZAFT now and she was off being some Rogue to save the world…again.

He felt like such a coward as he sat alone in his quarters. A lot had happened since he last her face and yet her leaving the ring behind, it must mean she wants to move on. Athrun heart broke, correction shattered at the thought. He did still love her deeply and wanted to be with her and yet…he was the on that set up this barrier between them.

He was the one that rejoined ZAFT and as a special force member no less. He still didn't find any evidence about the assassination attempt on Lacus, but even if there was one could he find it? Athrun only sighed as he fingered the piece of jewelry that sat on his desk. He wanted to see her at the very least and yet he didn't want to think about losing her.

Everything just kept on getting more complicated as time passed and there was no stopping it. The fight between Earth Alliance and ZAFT had gotten worse and seemed to no end. And the thought of that made Athrun realize there was a possible chance that he would never really get to be with Cagalli again. She was on the Archangel choosing no side but trying to stop both sides.

Athrun sighed deeper this time while sinking into his chair. He did not know why all the sudden all of this came rushing towards him. He was occupied with fighting and taking command of the mobile suit unit on Minerva he had forgotten all about Cagalli, well until now. He saw the ring and suddenly felt as if his world was gone.

Cagalli…she was gone, at least away from him to never be found again. She was not going to return to him as a ZAFT soldier but would that really matter? Of course it would matter he was ZAFT soldier and she was Orb's true representative, their princess. It would never work out now, before when he was at Orb it might have but now…she wouldn't allow it.

He was taking part in the very thing she was trying to stop. He banged his fist on the table and growled in frustration. The dawning of the fact that he had basically lost everything he cared for. His mother at Junis seven, his father at Genesis, Nicol…died at the hands of Kira during battle, Kira his best friend was now sitting on the other side of his gun for the second time, and Cagalli…

Athrun began to weep, it was too much to bear…Kira he could handle just not being at the other end of his gun. But the fact that Cagalli would be the one at the other end was not fair. He would never be able to pull the trigger even if ordered too, but there was a chance that someone else would and then she would really be gone forever.

He couldn't think of what was worse, the fact he almost lost her to Yuuna or another man or the fact that she might die during these times. She was a princess meant to be in a safe haven and not in the middle of a battlefield and yet there she was. He could not phantom either option and would not settle for either one. Athrun quickly stood up to only hear the sounds of red alert and for all pilots to gear up for their mobile suits.

Athrun cursed as he quickly made his way but only hoped that there will be time to settle things between him and Cagalli. He quickly ran not noticing that Shinn, Rey, and Lunamaria running next to him. But they all noticed that his expression was not that one of a pleasant one. Athrun did have a lot on his mind and it was not going to distract him.

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"They just kept coming," Luna growled over the intercom.

Athrun tried to be in several places at once but it was not helping. Orb had reinforced Earth Alliance once again. This time it was just Minerva against them all and of course the Archangel was near fighting both sides. Kira being skilled was able to do a lot of pushing back forces. He knew that there was another pilot and it was fine by him till…

"No," Athrun whispered as he saw the Strike Rouge come out. This time however not to talk peace and telling Orb to go back. She was fighting against everyone but not taking their lives, she had improved in her skill but there was too many.

Athrun quickly made his way around the battlefield and noticing that thanks to Kira and Freedom the Earth Alliance and Orb pulled back. But their main focus was now taking out the Archangel which was apparently fine with the Minerva crew as they were telling everyone to return to the ship so they could make their escape. Athrun wanted to go help his friends but pulled back knowing full well that the people of the Archangel saw him leave.

He disembarked from his mobile suit as he was then called to the bridge. Every one of the pilots still in their flight suits went to watch the battle from the bridge. Everyone looked in surprise as now Archangel looked to defeat as more forces came out and the scene did not look too well. Then again neither did Jachin Due but it still worked in their favor.

Athrun watched wide eyed at the scene before him, three mobile suits fighting for their lives. He knew Kira would make it out fine as well as the Desert Tiger but what of…

"Captain," Athrun called out to her and she turned to face him.

"What is it Athrun?" Talia asked as she saw his attention was fully on the screen.

"Can't we do something?" Athrun asked as his fists balled at his sides.

"Our orders are to leave the Archangel alone," Talia said simply but the next scene before them shocked them all. "Arthur?"

"Captain, the…the…" Arthur was at a loss for words as his face paled. Everyone looked at the great explosion that happened. Everyone looked in terror as the Strike Rouge was barely staying in the air. Athrun's heart sank but there was an open transmission that stopped all attacks.

"To may citizens of Orb, I know that you were bullied into siding with Earth Alliance Forces, I beg of you now…that you return to our ideas. They are not foolish, my father died for them…and I guess I will die for them as well. Orb…return home, I ask in my memory that you reject the alliance and return home to protect our ideas. I fought to protect them and to by dying breath I do that gladly…"

"CAGALLI!" Athrun shouted in terror. Then her face appeared before them all on the Minerva. Arthur looked in shock as well as did all of the crew. It felt as if yesterday she was on the ship and even Shin was in shock.

"Shin…" Cagalli's voice was hoarse and the tears were in her eyes. "I'm sorry that Orb could not keep our ideas completely true…your family died for them, and I guess I too will join them."

"Don't say that stupid!" Shin shouted with tears in his eyes. "If you die that who is going to protect your stupid ideas?"

Cagalli chuckled, "I guess there is the crew of the Archangel as Kira Yamato and Lacus Clyne are the next representatives for Orb. I place them as my successors in keeping the ideas that Naturals and Coordinators are meant to live in harmony and not at war…"

Cagalli winced in pain as Athrun felt as if his world now destroyed…he stared in disbelief only to utter her name. Then he felt her piercing gaze on him, "I knew that I would die…that is why I left the ring there. I don't know if you found it…but…"

"Cagalli, no…" Athrun said with tears flowing freely down his face.

"Give it to someone who shares your ideas with ZAFT…since I never really could. You left me for them…"

"Cagalli that's not true I…"

"Don't forget me…" With that her screen went static and her mobile suit exploded. Everyone on the bridge stood up and saluted. Shin even in the mist of his tears began to understand the belief that his family followed to Orb. He didn't regret joining ZAFT but he did regret all of the things he said to Cagalli Yula Athha before she died.

It was true he loved Orb at one time, it was the only place where prejudice was never in question, and you were equal. That day they had to evacuate was because her father died to protect those ideas and keep their mobile suits away from those that would misuse them. How sad he had to realize it at the young woman's death at just eighteen. Shin then saw Luna leaning against Rey as she cried into his chest.

Meyrin had tears as well as she saluted the princess of Orb. She was now gone and two people in her dying wish were to become to follow after her. She admired her and even more so now for her courage. But no one was feeling the pain more than Athrun. He was on his knees pounding the ground with tears pouring down his face.

He was in pain, deep pain…no one bothered to try to comfort him for they knew not what to say. It was apparent that he would never be the same, he had lost many people in life but it could not compare to the one he just received. Then an unfamiliar face appeared before them and Athrun looked up.

"Kira…"

"I hope that you are happy Athrun, she's gone…" Kira said with tears pouring down his face. "Her last words were to you, remember that."

"Kira…" Athrun called out but it was too late. Athrun stood up but to only run out of the bridge. Shin went after him and stopped him before he got into his mobile suit. Though a fairly long distance but the man was grieving…

"Athrun!" Shinn called out but Athrun looked at him, he was defeated. Athrun had been broken in the most hurtful way that he could ever think of. He had lost the one woman he loved and there was nothing to bring her back.

"What are you going to stop?" Athrun asked and everyone of the maintenance crew looked in shock at the display before them.

"I think that you need to calm down before you go out there," Shinn told him. "Aren't you the one that told me not to act too rashly?"

"You …you don't understand," Athrun said simply. "Losing family is difficult, I can compare to that…but losing the one person that believed in you when no one else could…I can't….I can't…"

Athrun fell to his knees, "Why did someone like her had to die…and die in front of her own people?"

Shinn took in a deep breath before continuing, "She and I may have never saw things eye to eye. But I wish she was alive to hear it now, I realize her beliefs of her country were important for her. Her emotions made her strong and easy target for cold blooded politicians. She is not alone, because there were people before her that died for that same belief."

"But why her…" Athrun said as grief was heard in his voice.

"I don't know, I can say one thing I wished it wasn't this time…" Shin said sadly. "There are a lot of things I would tell her different and it is sad that I had to realize a lot of things at the moment before her death."

"Shinn…"

"Athrun…you are our commander, you need to get a grip. I know losing her and watching her die before your eyes must have been so painful, but I think it is time that instead of acting rash give her soul some rest," Shinn said simply. "It takes a while…I know, especially when I lost all of my family at once…it took a long time before I could just move on…but I still grieve for them but it won't change the fact they are gone. They also died for their beliefs of Orb."

"Shinn…" Athrun just wept more and Shinn placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "When this war is over, I'm going to Orb and build a place for her to watch all over Orb. The Orb she wanted and the world she wanted to see if she lived."

"Then, I guess we need to make sure we live through this and see that her death is not in vain." Shinn said simply with a sad smile when Lunamaria came rushing in.

"Orb has pulled back, they are returning back to Orb. And Archangel is going back with them," Luna said simply. "They have recalled their treaty…by order of Kira Yamato."

Athrun stood up slowly but worn out from his grief that he collapsed.

"ATHRUN!"

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The war had come to a bitter end, so many lives were lost after two years. Was it worth the cost of all of those that lost their lives? Athrun stood before the newly built memorial at Orb, Earth Alliance, and PLANTs were standing there as it was unveiled to the world. It was strange this war actually had brought Kira and Lacus closer and brought back Miriallia and Dearka.

Shinn had found a way for Stellar to be Stellar without changing through experimentation. Auel and Sting had returned to normal lives, well if you could call it that. But it was close enough…no longer just fighting machines. Rey and Luna seemed like they were going to make way to something, but time will reveal in due time. Even Murrue Ramius and Andrew Waltfeld had some kind of relationship, the status was still unknown.

"Thank you all for coming today," Athrun turned to see Kira is a very nice suit with Lacus in a lovely dress. Athrun held a smile but knew that his friend could not see him within the mass of the crowd. He was invited yes but it was by Miriallia and Dearka.

"This is a great occasion as we the treaty for eternal peace may have finally arrived, granted there will be those that wish to go against the beliefs that we all share but that is why we must stand united." Kira said smoothly as Lacus just stood there with a warm smile. "Two years of warfare is enough, and it being the second one in such a short time…this has been well worth the wait."

"I must agree with my husband, as newly weds it is something that has been long awaited for not only people of Earth but the people of PLANT and those who stood to their neutral beliefs," Lacus said as there was an applause. "However this is also a time to remember those who gave their lives during the war…including our dear Cagalli Yula Athha."

"Though she and I are basically fraternal twins, she was still my sister that I got to know for at least three years," Kira said sadly. "Her death was a terrible way to die but she was proud to die for her country and her beliefs. Now my beautiful bride will sing a song in memory of my sister, our princess…Cagalli Yula Athha."

"This song is something I was writing with Cagalli at the time, about her feelings about someone dear to her," Lacus said with a sad smile as the band begin to play.

_**How did I ever get to here**_

_**Why do I need you**_

_**Why do I have to cry these tears**_

_**I used to be so strong alone**_

_**When I was standing on my own**_

_**Now I don't know what to do**_

_**Was I too proud or jus t too blind**_

_**What does it matter**_

_**When love was in these hands of mine**_

_**I let it shatter**_

_**The pieces scattered to the wind**_

_**I'll never have them here again**_

_**But I'll remember how we were**_

_**The rest of time**_

As Lacus was singing the song Athrun felt a strong pierce in his heart that he hadn't felt in a few years. It had been sometime he let himself think of Cagalli. She haunted his dreams of that tragic event. Her death was something at night he would remember and during the day he would push it aside for the sake of his sanity. If it wasn't the crew of the Minerva he would have not made it through that horrible time of his life. He still hadn't been able to move on, even though after Mia was revealed as the imposter Lacus…she had offered to take away his pain but…it was like cheating on Cagalli's memory…he wasn't ready to move yet.

_**You are my heart**_

_**How could I ever let you go**_

_**You are my soul**_

_**I had to lose my soul to know**_

_**How much you mean**_

_**To me, you are my heart**_

_**I think I see you everywhere**_

_**Isn't that crazy**_

_**I still r each out to feel you there**_

_**Lying beside me**_

_**I've learned a lot since you've been gone**_

_**About what I am and what I want**_

_**I know only want to be in love with you**_

Athrun chuckled to himself, how true was the song. He did reach for her, even though she was so far away. When he woke up he wished that he was only a nightmare that would end. He did not like the feeling of not having her alive but time and fate was not kind him. Athrun Zala once again felt alone even though he still had his friends Yzak Joule and Dearka Elthman but they were with their lives.

_**You are my heart**_

_**How could I ever let you go**_

_**You are my soul**_

_**I had to lose my soul to know**_

_**How much you mean**_

_**To me, you are my heart**_

Dearka was already planning to propose to Miriallia when the time was right, Yzak had a fiancée. Shinn was now with Stellar and was consumed with her all the time, but hey that's love. Kira and Lacus, of course newly weds…Athrun was invited but when he looked at Kira he saw Cagalli. He couldn't stay at the wedding for a long time. Everyone around him either in love or falling and he had the one but…

_**There's the sun to light the day**_

_**My colors turned to gray**_

_**The day I saw you walk away**_

_**Now there's nothing left to say**_

_**But when I dream, I pray**_

_**That could be like yesterday**_

Athrun couldn't stand it no more as he walked out of the mass of people. The moment Lacus sang the song saying that things could be like yesterday. He really did wish and his heart could not take the words any longer. He quickly rushed through the crowds of people to the edge. People were all over the city were standing by a screen to watch the event if they were not actually at the sight. He could not escape the song and it made him fill with nothing but regret.

_**You are my heart**_

_**How could I ever let you go**_

_**You are my soul**_

_**I had to lose my soul to know**_

_**How much you mean**_

_**To me, you are my heart**_

"Excuse me sir," Athrun turned around to see a little boy that he did not recognize.

"Yes," Athrun said as he knelt down to his level. He didn't mind getting his red uniform a little dirty but the kid looked like as if he was lost.

"Have you seen my friend?" The boy asked, "I was suppose to watch but you see she has a temper and goes off when she sees her brother."

"Oh really," Athrun said with an amused tone. "What does she look like?"

"She looks like Representative Yamato," Athrun's face turned to shock. There was no way that Cagalli could be alive, he saw her die. Her mobile suit was blown to pieces but then again, he blew Kira to pieces and he survived. But they were out over the water…there was no way…

"Oh really, why did she run off?" Athrun asked keeping his shocked expression.

"She said she was going to hurt her brother for letting his wife sing the song," the boy shrugged. "So can you take me to the sight?"

"Uh, sure kid," Athrun stood up but the boy quickly took hold of his hand. The boy quickly knew his way around the city and led him back to the memorial spot where Kira and Lacus were meeting with some old friend.

Kira smiled when he saw his old friend, "Athrun!"

"Hey Kira," Athrun said simply as the boy let go of his hand went over to Kira. "Uh, who is the boy?"

"Oh Nicol, he was an orphan and Lacus and I adopted him," Kira said and Athrun was shocked at the fact Kira named the boy after his friend. "We have a few other children, Tolle is currently around somewhere. Probably playing with Dearka again, he loves him for some odd reason."

"Don't forget Mwu," Lacus said simply. "We decided to name the boys after many of our dear friends."

"That's great you guys," Athrun said as he was truly touched. "But no girls?"

Kira sighed, "We have one, but she isn't born yet."

"Yet?" Athrun turned to look over at Lacus with a bewildered expression.

"Yes, I'm about three months pregnant." Lacus said with a wide smile, "It'll be nice to have a girl around the house instead of three active boys."

"I'm happy for you, but Nicol said he had lost a friend of his," Athrun said as Kira just laughed. "I think I'm missing something here…"

"KIRA! LACUS!" A familiar voice shouted from a distance. The pilots of Minerva and former special pilots from EAF shuttered in terror. They shout was more like a war cry…or possibly a death threat.

"I think we better leave, before we find out who that voice belongs too," Rey said quickly as the group quickly left. Miriallia who was with Yzak, Sai, Dearka, and a few others quickly rushed off. They were what they younger kids called Oldies since they served in the first war. Athrun just looked lost when his heart stopped.

"It…it can't be…" Athrun said breathless. His eyes had to be playing tricks on him and then of course the news crews were going happy. They were filming this occasions as if they had seen a ghost and other photographers were snapping their cameras like wild beasts.

It was the very image of Cagalli Yula Athha in a deep red formal gown. Her hair a bit longer than the last time she was seen was up in curls with a red rose in her golden tresses. She had ruby jewelry to add the special touch and Athrun could have nearly died from shock at the imagine before him. She was beautiful…is beautiful if she was real, is she real?

"Why hello," Kira said simply. He had been planning this day with Lacus for quite sometime, well actually for the past year after they had found Cagalli staying at some hospital for some time they weren't able to identify her due to the damage to her body. She even need some plastic surgery to repatch the princess back together. Her face was a little different but she still held all the same strong features that could not be denied that she was Cagalli Yula Athha.

Once she had regained conscious she was fully aware of everything. Of course being in a coma she did not know the difference of time. She was caught up quickly and they were waiting for the right moment to show her to the world but of course Cagalli had to go through many hours, days, and even months of therapy to regain many of her motor skills even speech.

Kira almost regretted the fact she received her ability to talk again. Now it was time to hear the scorn of his sister and Lacus walked over to the girl. She hugged her with tears in her eyes, she did not know of her husband's plan at all. "Cagalli, is it you?"

Cagalli looked surprised, she had thought Kira had told her and hugged the girl back, "It's me…"

Athrun could not believe his ears as questions were being asked from all of the reporters between Kira and Cagalli. Especially on how she survived and Athrun waiting for the answer that Cagalli or Kira would reveal. The answer sounded like it was a miracle and Athrun suddenly began searching for a certain item that he carried with him at all time.

"How did you survive the explosion?"

"Where have you been all this time?"

"Will you be taking your rightful place as leader of Orb?"

"Are you going to stay a bachelorette or is there a man behind the scenes?"

Athrun was fed up trying to find it and quickly went pass through the group of reporters and Cagalli looked at him surprised. He was the last one she had expected to see and did not know how she would react and right now her heart was pounding. The question she would answer would be from mostly Athrun…

"How did you survive?" Athrun asked as he took one step near her and Cagalli gulped.

"I don't know, the people who found me said that was battered up and that they could not recognize who I was…they rushed me off to the hospital where they nursed me to health and had to perform some plastic surgery." Cagalli said as her voice cracked but the reporters were wasting no time writing onto their note pads.

"How long were you there?" Athrun said as he took one more step. He was just a few steps from touching her and making sure she was real. Kira however smiled as he gave his adopted son five dollars for bringing Athrun back. For this was all planned, and planned quite well.

"I was in a coma for about a year and six months. The other six, give or take a few months were in rehabilitation to regain my motor skills, speech, memories, and etc." Cagalli said nervously as Athrun again took one step forward.

"Romance?" Athrun asked but it was forced not wanting to know if the answer was yes.

"No…" Cagalli said as she stood up firmly. "The one man I loved walked away from me two years ago."

"If he were to apologize?"

"He still walked away, pushed me aside for some unknown reason to fight for what he wanted to but never told me why, still I do not…to me the man I loved is dead," Cagalli said as she knew her words would hurt him but it was hurting her too.

"Cagalli…I….I," Athrun could not help it any longer. He gathered her up in his arms and placed a kiss firmly on her lips. The camera crews and photographers went wild, they were excited it was time they had some happier news…or some kind of drama other than a war.

"I've miss you so much," Athrun said with tears in his eyes. "Could you ever forgive me…I lost the most important person in my life. I'd do anything to have her back in my life."

Cagalli looked up at him after the powerful kiss, it had been a while since she tasted his lips. "What would you do then Athrun Zala?"

Athrun then took of his belt and uniform top. He knew it was out in the open in front of the ZAFT and PLANT but he didn't care, but there were other people higher up formulating plans. This had actually come into the whole matter of World Peace. Since Kira was once part of the EAF but more importantly Archangel the peace between EAF and PLANT was settled through their marriage, and now PLANT could have one with Orb. Only if things would work out properly and if they would agree…

"Athrun…" Cagalli said with tears forming her eyes.

"I gave up too much to be away from you, but I'll give up more if it means I can be with you for now and forever." Athrun said with desperation in his voice and Cagalli noticed that he hadn't been sleeping well for quite a long time. His face looked older than a twenty year old. Cagalli then noticed something under his blue shirt. She pulled it out to see the ring he had given her.

"You kept it," Cagalli said simply.

"It was my only link to you, I thought…I was broken, I wouldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, its been horrible with out and I don't think I could ever fall in love again the way I did with you," Athrun said as he went down on both knees. "Please Cagalli…I'm begging you, don't push me away. I want to be with you…"

"Stand up idiot," Cagalli pulled him up to place her lips on his.

Sometimes love must be let go in order for it to return. Some times we must feel the lost of the love before we realize how special it is and always will be. In front of the World Athrun Zala and Cagalli Yula Athha became a couple. There was no secret he was a Coordinator and she was a Natural but it would not stop them. Of course there was another couple like that but they were not high name people like Athrun and Cagalli.

Athrun later in that year would become a member of the high council and Cagalli once again the Head Representative of Orb. The two were the world famous couple, their fights were public, their make ups even more so and more celebrated. They were the most celebrated couple especially when they decided to tie the knot at the ages of twenty four.

Love lost…was regained with a second chance that most people never receive. Athrun Zala is one lucky man and he can really be a happy man, he became even more protective of his wife especially when it came to letting her out of sight. He knew her where abouts at all times. She was after all his treasure, his sanity, and his only link to a happy life.

There was still a chance…

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Well it's been a while since I written a Gundam Seed Story, well more like Destiny. But hey…hope you like it.

SeungLee


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